The irony of the outer critic
Silencing other people’s doubts about you
Within the past one year, I have told a few people that I sometimes consider leaving my job a short while after finishing my post graduate degree. And while there have been opinions supporting and opposing this thought, the one thing I seem to hear from everyone’s comment is:
“…but you’re too young to even be thinking in that direction now, don’t you think?”
Recently, I had to sit down and ask myself why everyone was making that comment, and if it was truly worth believing. Everybody seems to think, “Well, you’re too young to be worried about your future at this age, just go with the flow.” I knew that heeding this advice would just put me in an ever moving loop where I kept on doing the same thing every day, sticking to my current job and just hoping that one day, a miracle event would occur and help me break out of the cycle. But how often do such miracles occur?
I think a major irony of society today is that we want to shelter ourselves from life in every way possible and still expect to emerge exceptional, successful, well-rounded individuals.
But we can’t fully grow indoors.
However, when someone wants to take that leap of faith and attempt a huge risk, we feel like they are not grateful for what they have or they are just being unnecessarily curious or exploring. We know that we want a big change in our lives, but we are not willing to do that introspection and find out what our best options are in life. We rather choose to remain on the safe path, hoping that one day, something phenomenal would come around and change our lives.
Again, very rare.
I want this to serve as your call to action to remember that if you are currently dreaming about achieving something, having dreams alone won’t get you there. And I personally don’t believe that affirmations and positive thinking alone will get you there as well (I mean, are you positively thinking about the actions you’re not taking?).
But before you decide to quit whatever you’re tired of and move to something more, ask yourself these questions:
1. Do I really want to do something different or am I just being lazy at this job
2. What is my real reason for wanting to quit? And how will my next choice correct that?
3. Am I just doing this as a fear project? What are the real implications here?
4. What is my backup plan?
My advice is simple: Be cautious, but be honest with yourself. Yes, you need to make a plan before quitting your job or taking the next big step that will propel you towards your next milestone in life. However, there will always be “rational” justifications for wanting to stay where you are. I used those quotations to signify the emergence of fear. Don’t let fear make you feel like you should never take that first step, because trust me, the doubts will come.
The best way to do this is map out a specific timeline for your current position, job, whatever, and make a firm decision to move forward after that timeline is over, no matter what. So, do you see yourself feeling stuck somewhere tight now? What do you need to do to change that?
Find out what it is, map out your exit plan, and then set a timeline on when to exit. I hope we get to overcome this fear together.
Thanks for reading!
