MAKING BETTER DECISIONS
The 4 things you need to know
Since I knew who a counselor is, I have always dreaded meeting one for myself. Not that there is an innate behavior about them that scares me, it’s just the thought that someone could sit down with me and subtly make me decipher my greatest fears, pushing me to make conscious decisions to act in a way that would sometimes scare me. Decision making for me entails facing a scary problem head on and consciously facing the consequences.
Yeah, decisions. Ugh.
They are so ultimate. So definite. So real.
But are they? Really?
Well, over time I have come to realize that, of course, my fears were overrated. Making a specific decision to face your fears or challenge your current disposition isn’t such a bad idea, really. Sometimes it could be difficult, but it’s much better to be in control of our choices. That is why we need to make the right decisions. Here are four important lessons I’ve learned when it comes to making better decisions.
#1. Decision making is hard.
Well, sometimes. But I’m sure you can testify that those hard decisions are usually very hard. I mean, on some occasions you’d just wish that an angel or some kind of seer would appear to you and tell you if the choice you want to make would be best, and what exactly the future outcome would be if you made that choice.
But that’s not going to happen. And if it did, you’d be too overwhelmed with fear to even act. Truth is, there is usually no “best decision”. Many times, the best decision is the one you make with all your mind and actually set your heart out to do. You are free to take as much time as you need to make a decision in many cases, but make sure you are OK with it in the end.
My second relationship was a very toxic one, and even from the start I was seeing many signs that I should get out. People told me to leave it but I didn’t listen. Not a good idea though, but choosing to leave that relationship was a difficult one for me. Until I eventually did. I did leave when I was convinced beyond reasonable doubt that he was not for me. And I never regretted it, which brings me to my next point.
#2. Forget about what you might regret and focus on what you stand to gain.
I used to be a victim of this. When I wanted to make a choice, I would ask myself “am I sure I won’t regret this?” instead of asking “what do I stand to benefit from this?” The first is a negative way of thinking, while the second makes you open your mind to better opportunities beyond what you see at the moment. For example, you could be scared that you will regret quitting your job and starting a business. Instead, think of all the possible things you could do to make more income if you lose that job. Also imagine the peace of mind you would gain if you worked by yourself and set the flow of things. You would also be happier doing something you prefer.
Life is too short to bother about what you will regret doing or not doing. Create joy in your mind thinking of all the positive aspects of the choice you are going to make. Like I said earlier, there is no one best choice, so work with what you have, and make the best of it.
#3. Don’t ever decide based on the fear of missing out on something.
Or if I should say, don’t let fear control your decision making process. Fear can sometimes be seen as reasonable, but when you allow it cloud your judgment above critical thinking, then there is a problem. I have also been a victim of this (sadly). Making decisions based on fear usually doesn’t end well, as you will later realize that your fears were either overrated or they made you not to think your choice through properly.
If you have been or are a still a victim of crippling fear while making a decision, there is no need to panic. First, you need to acknowledge that you are actually scared of a future outcome. Then understand why. Then ask yourself
“Is that fear wroth making you lose out on something good?”
“How do I even know that my fears will even happen?”
Sometimes, the mind creates scary pictures to force us to act in irrational ways, which we mostly regret in the future. Learn to think things through objectively, free of all form of sentiment and fear.
#4. Always listen to your inner voice.
It’s sometimes called a conscience. Or a gut feeling. Or your subconscious. Whatever it is, there is a reason it’s there. And that’s why our gut is sometimes referred to as our second brain. It has a way of providing us with subtle cues on what actions to take. You just met a guy who says he likes you and goes a long way to prove it. Your initial response could be doubt, but that deep inner seated voice tells you that everything will be fine. And most times, it turns out to be so.
This is just one of many instances. And yes, I know, sometimes we may not be the best judge of character. But let’s be honest, most times when we refuse to listen to our inner voice, we often regret it. That’s because it keeps telling us what we have always known, the deep seated truth inside of us that we refuse to acknowledge.
That we should quit that job.
Leave that toxic relationship.
Implement that business idea.
Pursue our dreams more.
Live our best life.
So what is stopping you from following your inner voice? You know the best answer to that. Be true to yourself and ask if it’s really worth it to make a decision that’s against what your inner voice is saying. Decide to listen to your inner voice more today.
PS I’m still not so good with counselors.
Thanks for reading!
