How I maintain balance between my introverted nature and sanity
I am an introvert, and more specifically classified under the ISFP sect of the Jung’s and Briggs Personality Classification Scale. Having taken this test three times over the span of three years, I think I can state with clear conviction that I am an authentic ISFP.
I am the Introvert, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.
You might have been struggling to understand who you really are and how to get the best out of your life based on your true personality. Many of us, because of the fear that being an introvert makes us less of a vibrant or interesting person, force the mirage that we are more extroverted than we are introverts.
But you shouldn’t. I won’t even say that being an introvert is better, because I don’t know how it feels to be outgoing and draw energy from being around others all the time, so who am I to judge? Honestly, embracing my inherent personality traits has not been so easy. Sometimes I sit down and do a deeper analysis and ask myself, do you think things would have been better if you just pretended to be an extrovert?
Well, I’m here to give you a reason to never ask yourself this question again.
I’m sharing 4 major tips that have helped me for over a decade to be a better person by understanding who I am as an introvert and how to adapt to the world in such a way that you still feel at ease to be yourself and function normally.
1. Dealing with external stimulants
Going by the use of the word, a stimulant is something that propels a reaction. You get pinched, you feel pain. Touch fire, get burned. Stay on social media too long, get a headache (I know I do). What stimulates you and even the nature of your body or mind’s reaction to it (whether positive or negative) totally depends on you. But I know that there are so many things akin to the majority of introverts that spur a negative reaction. It could be going to a party where you have to talk to so many people you don’t know, or going having to deal with many strangers at work, or having to reply to numerous comments on your blog or social media post.
Look, just learn to take it slow.
You know who you are, and that you can get overwhelmed easily, so take things up at your own pace. Don’t go out too often if you don’t enjoy it. You can hire someone to deal with post engagements, or if you must do it yourself, do it bit by bit. You’re of no help to others if you always feel the need to merge fully in the social drift, but then you get too overwhelmed that you can’t function properly.
Always learn to eliminate such stressors.
The places you go to, people you meet, your assimilation of other people’s opinions and the kind of urgency it invokes should all be regulated, for the sake of our mental health.
2. Dealing with internal stimulants
As an introvert, you don’t even always need people to pull a string around your brain — even you could sabotage yourself if you’re not careful.
Sometimes we have these moments when we get awesome ideas and we want to accomplish so much at once. I may even be caused by something someone told us or that we saw somewhere. This now distracts us completely from the task at hand, therefore constantly reducing our ability to focus. Dear introvert, your focus and attention to detail in your quiet moment is your super power. Stop getting distracted so easily!
You need that focus to deliver an excellent job. You need to work with those intricate processes that you put in place and only you understands and can work with. So stop overthinking. Have your creative spurs and document them properly, but don’t let them get in the way of the work that you are so good at.
3. Dealing with FOMO and the fear that you might not be living your best life
So this happens to everybody I guess, but I think what is important is how we deal with it. Life doesn’t happen the same way to all of us, and the thing you see going on with someone else that you want for yourself, may not even be the best for you. My personal experiences are a very good example.
Any day I choose to scroll down my Insta feed, I see beautiful pictures of my friends and even people I don’t know hanging out in awesome places, socializing, doing some fun and sometimes even scary stuff. And I can’t help but imagine how it would feel to be exactly where they are at that moment and having such fun as well.
But here is the deal — in reality, you might not actually enjoy that activity as you would think. I personally don’t enjoy having to go to an overcrowded party where nobody knows me so I either try to fit in and say things people want to hear or I just stand aside and fiddle with my phone. I mean, how is that fun? Or maybe you’re trying to live on a reasonable budget, but to enjoy such kind of entertainment frequently, you would have to be going way out of your mark in terms of finances to keep yourself happy.
Are you even happy doing that?
I’ll tell you what makes me happy: crafts, having a long talk with my few friends and laughing as if I’m going to burst, painting, reading novels, watching animated movies, going hiking and climbing hills, even video games.
It may not be the same for you, but please learn now what makes you happy, because people will come from time to time and try to unjustify our source of happiness. The only way to block this is to first of all know what truly makes you happy. Some people that are more extroverted have told me things like “how can reading make you happy?” or “you’re just lying, there is no way you could prefer watching a movie at home to going to a party at night”.
I actually do enjoy going to a party if I don’t have to socialize or if I’m close to most of the people there. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy when I’m alone. Most days, I’d rather just chew my popcorn and take a rain check on that party.
4. Dealing with the fear of whether to be alone or be with somebody, based on how much it affects your productivity, your dreams, and who you truly are.
I’m not sure I had a better way of structuring this subheading, but I’m sure you get the point. Truth is, frequently being around family, friends, or an intimate relationship can affect your mindset or behavior either positively or negatively. Obviously if it’s positive, there is no need for you to be bothered.
But negative energy is draining.
It is even more draining when it comes from someone you are close to. Maybe that person doesn’t believe in your dreams or is not even interested to make the slightest effort from time to time to help you achieve your goals. Or they don’t understand why you behave the way you do because you are more of an introvert.
Dear reader, don’t you think you have enough self-doubt already, talk more of adding the drawbacks of a negative person?
Please cut them off. Right now. I’ve had issues with this in the past, especially when it comes to close relationships. It will wither continue to drain you or you guys will just never get along. And always remember that you can’t change anybody if they don’t want to change for themselves. Leave them alone and move on. I don’t think you were made to be responsible for the actions and in-actions of another human being that you didn’t raise.
Being an introvert doesn’t mean you have to survive. Also learn to thrive.
Thanks for reading!
