Creating who you really are
5 practical steps to help create the life you truly want to live
Early this year, I used to feel like I was just going through life in a way that I couldn’t control. I felt exhausted about things that looked way out of my control and I always felt like I needed to take a break. Work used to feel like they force me to do it and I was just working without making any progress in a specific direction.
Then the pandemic came.
And I was forced to live with myself for a whole month. Not like I previously had the fear of living on my own, it’s just that I wasn’t used to having such freedom with time to use it as I so pleased. I still had a paying job at the time, but all I had to do was turn in work on or before deadlines. It was awesome. But then came the dip.
I couldn’t control the time I slept, and I always felt a bit draggy. Having turned to productivity videos and TedX talks, I was able to recover and after a few weeks, I was feeling awesome. I had gotten into my zone. I realized I wasn’t so happy with my work because deep inside, it wasn’t leading me in the direction that I had planned for myself in my head. Simply put, my everyday tasks didn’t seem to contribute towards creating the kind of life I wanted to live in the future.
Today, a lot of content online creates the impression that everyone should be a certain way to be happy and productive, or have a specific kind of job, or act in a specific way. But if every individual is unique, don’t you think that our perception of success and progress should be as well? I think so, that’s why I have come up with 5 practical ways that you can create who you truly are, and work towards living life in a way that best suits you.
1. Know who you are.
The world has a way of always trying to project its own opinion on our lives. It shows us orthodox ways of living, and makes it look like there is only one right way to ever be. You need to know how to escape this. That’s why you need to keep in touch with your inner self. It all begins with understanding who you really are. Deep inside of you, you know where you would like to be in the future. Don’t be afraid to follow that dream, if it’s what you truly want.
Don’t be afraid of your dream, no matter how big or small it is, as long as you will be happy.
Also, not everybody wants to get to the position of cut-throat success, and that is fine. It doesn’t make you weak or seem like a loser. I think the real losers are those who want to get there just because they assume it’s the right thing to do (and not because they have an internal drive to get to the top). They climb the bars of success that the world has set, and are eventually unhappy.
Know your stance from now on. And don’t let anybody try to take that belief away from you. Own who you are, and strive to be what you have always wanted to be. But like I said earlier, first know who you are, and keep up the pace from there.
2. Talk to yourself. Always.
A lot of people think its madness to talk to oneself, or that it is a major sign of loneliness. It’s not actually. It just means you’re thinking out loud. I mean, we all have thoughts, so what’s the crime if we want them to be a bit more resounding?
We need to remind ourselves about what we truly want. Everyday. Whenever you get back from work or an outing, you must have consumed a lot of ideas. Maybe your coworkers gave you an idea for a new business idea or an investment. Or maybe you got the impression that you need to change your fashion sense, or go out more, or just do something different. In your alone time, ask yourself, does this new idea really sit with me? Is this what I truly want?
It’s ok to change sometimes, if it will make you better or you just want to. But you should be able to justify the why of that change. Doing it for reasons that are not beneficial, necessary, or don’t appeal to you are obviously wrong. Always be honest with yourself about what you do and what you don’t want.
3. Learn to seize moments.
How many times have you ever passed a beautiful location and said to yourself “oh, I would love to go there one day”? Or how often have you wished you could do something, but never get around to actually doing it? Well, I guess it happens to all of us.
We always think we have the time. Oh, are we wrong! You only ever have time for what you actively work towards. If you want that dream penthouse, you better start saving for it (I know I have). Yes, we all have bills to pay and a job to do and people to cater for. But does that have to make you a slave? I mean, what is the essence of going through so much stress at work and taking care of others when we cannot take adequate care of ourselves?
Learn to create moments that make you happy, and do it as much as possible. That life you picture in your head, only you can bring it to reality through concrete actions. Create a system or schedule that allows time for responsibilities and also random joyous moments. Because time is not really promised. We need to make the most with what we have, now.
4. Create relevant and realistic goals.
What are goals for, really? Well, they give us a direction for where we want to go. So let’s say goals are destinations. And some destinations can be so far, that’s why we pick fun routes so we can see things that entertain us on the way. And by the time we get there, we won’t be so tired or anxious. Then we can actually enjoy the stay at our destination, that’s if we see that destination as an awesome place.
But how can someone go to a destination which they don’t see as awesome? Well, that’s the same thing that happens when we set goals that are not relevant to us. By relevant, I mean it’s not something we really look forward to achieving.
For example, an awesome goal could be to become a career coach in the next one year. But what if the inner you is a crafts person and has no idea how to coach others about career life? This is a good goal, but not relevant to such kind of person. A relevant goal here would be “to master how to make 10 types of leather bags” or to produce 20 sculptures in the next one year.
And yes, some people would say you’re aiming low or trying to be an underachiever. But who else can set the standard for success in your life if not you? So create goals, objectives and strategies relevant to your line of business or profession. And celebrate those milestones, because no matter how the world chooses to see it, your efforts deserve to be congratulated.
5. Build a system that works.
Creating relevant goals are just one part of the plan, but you need structure. You need an environment that allows you to the time and space to manifest you creative self. There are certain resources, skills and knowledge you need to have to work effectively. Your location also matters, as well as your routine, your diet, the people around you and those you communicate with regularly. Create a schedule that you can work with, and allocate majority of your time to your major job or craft. Don’t surround yourself with negative people who might drain your energy or try to make you abandon your dreams.
Creating the right structure allows you to wake up every day and be able to be consistently productive on your tasks, gives more clarity on what you want the future of your career or business to look like, and also creates that peace of mind that allows you work better.
Don’t be afraid to work towards creating the kind of life that you have always wanted. Stop lying to yourself and start working towards creating who you truly are. Today.
Thanks for reading!
